apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize