I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
