Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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