How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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