Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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