people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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