This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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