You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
