I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
