she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
