are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
