while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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