I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
