You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
