omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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