"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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