We won't sleep together?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
