By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
