420 ftw
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
