Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
