I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize