am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize