this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
