Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
