Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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