i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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