as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
