Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
