i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize