Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
