It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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