I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
