Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
