i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
