She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
