You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
