This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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