Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
