my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
