I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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