Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She just used a chaser for red wine.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
