Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
