were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
