I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize