Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
a search helicopter?!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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