I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
