Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize