I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
and you fell through a lawn chair
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