I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
