He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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