I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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