i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im holly from the hills drunk
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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