it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
