Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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