then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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