ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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