no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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