Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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