You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
