The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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