My room smells like vodka and shame
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
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she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
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His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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