So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
